Daniel Cameron recently released his education plan. However, in the interest of appealing to Trump voters, who stop reading anything after the headline, Cameron was forced to leave off some items in the interest of brevity. Luckily, a source in the campaign was able to get me part two of Daniel Cameron's education plan, and it's truly a bold vision for the future.
Daniel Cameron has a bold plan for moving Kentucky's educational outcomes forward for the betterment of our state and our most precious natural resource, expendable workers. To that end, Daniel Cameron proposes these bold steps.
Daniel Cameron Will Forever End Teacher Worries About a Fully Funded Pension Plan
Teachers have wasted far too much time and energy worrying about the money being there for their pensions. I'll fix that by eliminating the pension plan and replacing it with a copy of a Dave Ramsey lecture on 8-Track, 10 Kentucky Lottery Crossword Scratch-Offs, and $7 in free play at their local historical racing machine location.
Daniel Cameron will Put an End to Gender Identity Ideology Once And For All
Under Daniel Cameron, our teachers will no longer be required to subscribe to woke gender ideology. Instead, our kids will be taught that with education they can be anything they want to be. Our boys can grow up to be football players, attorneys, lumberjacks, police officers, soldiers, and incels. And girls will see the sky is the limit for them as they grow up to be teachers, nurses, housewives, mothers of ten, and anything that Barbie could be before the 1970s.
Daniel Cameron Will Never Put Your Kids In Danger of Learning Loss Again
When Andy Beshear closed down the United States because of the COVID virus and forced us all to wear masks, he denied our children valuable classroom learning time that set them back for decades. That will never happen under a Cameron administration. Daniel Cameron believes a strong immune system is essential to Kentucky's well being, and as your governor, Daniel Cameron will NEVER close schools during a pandemic, require your child to get vaccines, or wear a piece of cloth that denies them precious oxygen a developing brain needs. After all, Mitch McConnell didn't become the most powerful Senator in the country by taking a stupid polio vaccine.
Daniel Cameron Will Keep Your Kids From Harmful Books
Our children are inundated with descriptions and imagery of graphic sex, porn stars, marital infidelity, and more, and not just in news about Donald Trump. Under a Cameron administration, you can rest assured that your school's library will contain only books that Daniel would read to his own child. These include works by classic children's authors like Kirk Cameron, Dinesh Dsouza, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, and God. By reducing our libraries to a single shelf, we free up valuable space for Cameron's next initiative.
Daniel Cameron Will Restore Discipline With His School To Prison Pipeline Internships
Andy Beshear thinks detention should be like the Breakfast Club, full of liberal celebrities breaking the rules in a library full of books people want to read. Under a Cameron administration, we'll use the innovations of Texas and private prison companies throughout the world to create a detention that is both punitive and teaches kids a trade. By removing books from libraries and replacing them with workstations, we'll be able to train any unruly child in valuable skills that will pay huge dividends for the companies they serve. Under our School To Prison Pipeline Internships, bad children will learn to be telemarketers, customer service representatives, and to make products that we legally can't pay non-incarcerated people to do. The best part is 80% of their wage will go back to the school to pay for fat pay raises for SROs.
Daniel Cameron Will Make Sure Our Kids Learn History and Patriotism
Andy Beshear encourages our educators to say the United States was bad because it had slavery, and that the United States is supposed to be some sort of woke melting pot of various faiths that aren't Judeo-Christian (Heavy on the Christian, light on the Judeo). Under a Cameron administration, our children will learn how our nation was founded by Jesus and the Founding Fathers as a monument to the freedom granted by Christianity, and that slavery was just a helpful guided free internship that taught people valuable skills. They will learn to respect our flag by hugging, kissing, and fondling it like our greatest President ever, Donald Trump.
Daniel Cameron Will Eliminate Teacher Shortages And Fund College Scholarships
Sometimes it's all in how you frame the problem. Do we have a teacher shortage or a student surplus? Daniel Cameron remains committed to his pro-life stance and knows that nothing makes you value life more than realizing how quickly it can be snuffed out. Under the Cameron Plan, Kentucky's New Educational Hunger Games will provide a robust competition that will allow competitors in a single elimination tournament to test out their skills with firearms, weapons, and survival in a monthly "last kid standing" competition for a full tuition scholarship to a local college. Loser's families will receive a free consolation prize of a share of stock in a local aluminum plant.
Daniel Cameron Will Encourage Teachers To Reduce Test Scores Through Incentives and Rewards
Daniel Cameron knows how important math and reeding scores are for our youth, and that's why he's set a goal of having 95% of our students proficient in reeding and 127% of our kids proficient in math by 2027. He will accomplish this by public punishment of any teacher who does not accomplish this goal for their kids in Kentucky's new Education Stockades. Every year on Reckoning Day, non-performing teachers will be shackled into these stockades and students will be allowed to throw all the fruits and vegetables at them we've removed from those gross healthy school lunches.
Daniel Cameron Will Create an Ambitious Rebranding of the Governor's Scholars and Related Programs
Daniel Cameron recognizes that the names "Governor's Scholars" and "Governor's School" are impersonal and carry little prestige. Following the inspiration of his mentor Donald Trump, the Cameron administration will now refer to all of these students as Cameron's Kids. And in order to prevent brain drain from the state, all Cameron's Kids will sign a lifetime contract to stay and work in Kentucky under penalty of 10 years in jail. Meanwhile, Cameron will ensure that these students are rewarded for their scholarly endeavors by covering 5% of the cost to any two year educational institution they choose in the state.
With this bold vision for education, there's no way that Kentucky can fail. For the future of your kids and Kentucky, vote Daniel Cameron for Governor.
